You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

I posted this quote on Facebook a while back and the response was far more than I could have expected…and from people I didn’t expect to respond.  The movie (The Help) was good. But the book really spoke to me.  Maybe it was because of my imagination running away with the story.  Or maybe it was because I read the book before seeing the movie. 

This evening, I thought more about that quote and what it could mean if we all believed That about ourselves. Especially, “You is kind.” Kindness doesn’t have to be a grand gesture or even cost anything. Simple acts can mean the world to someone when that person is hitting rock bottom. We may not even see their struggles. But some small act could be just what they need to get through another day.

Please believe in your heart, “You is kind. You is smart. You is important.”

And if some stranger has done something for you that you have never forgotten, please share your story, with me, with whoever will listen. One inspiration at a time, we could create a wave of kindness in our world.

 “I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.” —Stephen Grellet

Mirror, Mirror on the Wall…

Mirror, Mirror… why did you do this to me?

Several years ago, I had my hair cut off.  Not just an inch or two, but a lot of hair cut off.  I went from below the shoulders to layered short, short bob.  I thought the cut was cute and was so excited to have a new look.  Then I looked in the mirror after a good night’s sleep.  And I saw my mother.  Yes, my mother was staring back at me from that shiny surface above the sink.  No matter how I adjusted the lighting, changed my make-up or tried to rearrange the short layers, I looked like my mother.  Not my mother at the age I am now, but my mother who is 21 years older than I am.

I decided to ride it out and adjust to the new me (or, technically, older me).  Months passed by and I started to get used to the different me.  The “mom” me.  Don’t get me wrong.  I never stopped seeing “mom” in the mirror, but I at least got used to it.  It no longer startled me.  I expected it. Every. Morning.

I also have to confess that I’m stubborn. Stubborn to the point of not admitting I made a hair style choice MISTAKE. Short hair is not for me. So I stuck it out for a year. Yes, I had that short style because I’m stubborn, mule-headed, unwilling to admit defeat.

But then the second winter was approaching and I had my excuse…my head and neck were too cold! So, the slow process of growing out my hair began. After another year I was so excited to be seeing my old self in the mirror (still with shorter hair, but progress was making itself known). Finally, a few years later, all the layers had grown out and I was me again.

This has me reflecting (pun intended) on how we identify ourselves with our style. Whether it’s hair, clothing, makeup or something else, our self is visual. Just a small change can change how we see ourselves.

During the pandemic I decided since I hadn’t been able to get a hair appointment I was going to stop having my hair colored. This came from realizing that my hair growth during the first six months showed me my real color–grey! I saved time and money by letting the blond grow out. And it’s a new me.

So, now when I look in the mirror, I’m smiling back at an older me, but not my mother. She’s not gone grey (or so her hair stylist says)! But my hair is still long and a nice mix of dark hair and platinum grey. The hair color people younger than I are paying for! I’m stylish! Or so my friends say. I don’t care about that. I’m just me. A slightly more well off me without the expensive color appointments.

“Hair brings one’s self-image into focus; it is vanity’s proving ground. Hair is terribly personal, a tangle of mysterious prejudices.” ~ Shana Alexander

Attitude of Gratitude

I’ve been working on living my life with an attitude of gratitude.  Somedays, it’s easier than others.  But, overall, I am very thankful for where I am.  I have a good job, a home, my sweet cats, a network of friends, family and coworkers for when I want to be with people, and the peace to be comfortable being alone.

As I think about gratitude, I list 3 things or people I’m grateful for each day. On the days I struggle to come up with three, I go back to my old lists and remind myself of what brings joy to my life.

The last 28 months of my life have given me a different perspective of gratitude. Consistently, I have been grateful that I’ve been able to work from my comfortable home in the company of Tang and Millie who curl up near me as I work and insist on joining in on Zoom or Teams meetings. Our current technology has been a godsend to all of us who have been able to work in the safety of our homes during the pandemic.

So, today my list of I am grateful items include technology, Sandra Bullock movies and pajamas (also known as Work From Home outfits). What are you grateful for?

“As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” ~ John F. Kennedy

Time Flies…

“Time flies when you’re having fun.”  It also flies when you get older.  And it flies when your job keeps you so busy, you feel like Friday is following Tuesday most weeks.  I have to admit, it also flies when your life is changing dramatically.

I have been dealing with all of these “Time flies” scenarios this year.  I have gotten older (much better than the alternative – you know, being dead), I have been so busy with work, and I have had a dramatic change in my life.  After being married for 15 years, I am now divorced.  It’s really hard to admit.  It’s the first time I have typed that out in any kind of public message and it feels so final.  Well, it IS final.  Since May.  So, I am experiencing being on my own for my birthday, for the upcoming holidays, and soon, I will experience my first “no longer my anniversary”.

But that’s what life is about.  Adjusting to change.  I have had adjustments to change since I was a little girl.  My dad was in the Army and I was a little over 2 years old the first time we moved – it was a big move.  We went from France to the US. A little over 2 1/2 years later we moved again, another big move.  Yes, international.  And on and on.  My life has had big changes frequently, but it just doesn’t get any easier to adapt.

However, attitude can make it easier.  Was I sad?  Yes.  I was.  Was I in a way relieved?  Yes.  But I also have been making myself happy.  All those compromises or changes I made in my life to suit another person are no longer necessary.  I can just be me.  And do what I want when I want.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with compromise.  Unless it means giving up a part of you that you feel is important.  I gave up some of my favorite things to do.  I’m a very social person.  And that fell by the wayside most of the time, because I was married to an introvert who didn’t want to do things with other couples.  I tried making couples friends for us, but it never worked.  So, I gave up.  And that meant giving up a part of who I was.

Some of my friends fell by the wayside.  But some friendships are being rejuvenated. I hope it works.  Sometimes I feel like I am starting over.  In my late 50’s, I’m starting over.  And it’s okay.  Because now I am not compromising my emotions, my likes, my dreams.  I am doing things for myself.  So, here’s to all the ladies (or gentlemen) out there who are doing things for yourself with no thought of what someone else wants for the first time in a long time.  This is our second (or third or 10th) chance to do for ourselves! It’s time for fun.

“We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.” ~ Harrison Ford

Double Dose!

Every time I hear “Double Dose”, I think of Little Fockers.  It makes me laugh out loud, every time I watch that movie and hear “Double Dose”.  Today gave me a different perspective of Double Dose.  Today, Monday, was such a miserable, dreary, thunderstorming day.  Flash floods, lights flickering, all on a Monday morning, heading back to work.  The weather and the day of the week had me singing, “Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.”  So, this rainy day Monday was a double dose.  I was REALLY down.  Why do we, as humans, put so much negativity on Mondays?  I mean, I get that it’s the beginning of the work week (or school week), which means we are so far from the weekend, but do we really have to wait for the weekend to enjoy life?  Can’t we also enjoy the days of the week that don’t start with S?

I do like Mondays in some ways. Mondays are the beginning of a new opportunity to help the students at the university where I work.  Mondays bring me to one of my favorite television nights.  Mondays are another day closer to the next Friday evening…the beginning of that time when I can sleep in if I want, not get dressed if I don’t want, spend time in sloppy clothes if I want, time I can hit the road and drive to someplace new and exciting as long as it isn’t too far from home, so I can use the rest of my freedom to get back in time for, yes, you guessed it.  Monday.

This Monday the rain, the bad drive to work, the soaked hem of my pants and the head congestion from my allergies got to me.  Headache, sniffly nose, wet, tired from staying up too late Sunday night, not feeling fully prepared for the day, and a hectic, long work day just made this a Double Dose kind of Monday.  But I bet the week will get better! And after a hard rain, shouldn’t there be a rainbow?

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.” ~ Dolly Parton

When life hands you lemons…

I’ve always felt that the saying, “When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.” didn’t really make sense to me.  When I was a little girl, my dad would eat slices of lemons, no sugar or any other additions.  I was intrigued, so I tried it, too.  It was a struggle to get used to it, but I did.  And then I began eating lemons, slice by slice.  So, when life hands you lemons, eat them!

That is what I’ve been doing for the past few years.  I’ve been consuming the sour lemons, dealing with what life had handed me.  I didn’t realize just how sour some of those lemons were.  But now, I’ve taken a big batch of those sour lemons and pulled out a beautiful crystal pitcher, some sugar and clear, icy water and mixed up a refreshing batch of lemonade.  Poured into a tall glass, it has become much more enjoyable than those sour slices.

Now, I’m even looking for new things to do with those lemons.  I’ve begun making lemon meringue pie and lemon pound cake…and lemon pudding.  I still like the tartness of the lemons, but a little sweetness in life that you can also share with friends is much better.

So, now I’m back, doing the things I love.  Writing, crafting, painting, and spending time with people who matter to me.  And I’m smiling a lot more again.  So, just remember, when you are given a big bushel of lemons, they are the sunshine fruit that can make fantastic, sweet treats when dealt with in the right way.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.” ~ Charles R. Swindoll

Christians and Coffee Cups

I haven’t blogged in a while as life has kept me busy. But, I took some time to read this blog post and LOVED it. I would like to know this person. What an inspiration. Thank you, Emily C. Heath, for expressing so succinctly what I was feeling about the Red Cup issue, which really shouldn’t be an issue at all. And, Emily, Happy Thanksgiving! In fact, Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

You is kind. You is smart. You is important.

Recently, I posted this quote on my Facebook page and was astounded by the reaction…and most astonished by who unexpectedly responded.  The Help was a good movie, but the book was better.  Maybe it was because I read the book first, and I find that my imagination version is usually more interesting than the celluloid version that a director creates.  When I read a book, I can picture what the characters look like, sound like and how the scenery appears.  But the best part about reading a book is the thrill of going back after seeing the movie and re-reading the book, just to see how much better it really is.  And it is…really better.

I remember when little Mae Mobley repeated what Aibileen had taught her.  You is kind. You is smart. You is important.  And in that moment, I knew that every child should have Aibileen, or someone, give them the knowledge that they are kind, they are smart, and they are important.  If more children had that lesson ingrained in them from their earliest days, we would have far less pain in the world.

People of all ages respond to being told they are important.  It isn’t just children who need the reinforcement of being told they are kind.  We all want to believe we are thought to be smart.  The triple threat – being kind, smart AND important.  Those traits are the making of leaders.  I think about the leaders I would follow.  They are all smart…and kind.  And that makes them important to me.  And the most important person in my life who is smart and kind is my husband.  If there was ever someone who should have been told over and over that he is kind, smart and important, it is my guy.

It also makes me think of another movie I saw recently.  Girl Rising.  It moved me that there are so many young girls fighting for the right to prove they are smart.  They fight for the right to an education.  And they are willing to do almost anything to get an education.  They shouldn’t have to go to the extremes these young girls did, just to go to school.  They are important.  And they should be able to prove it.  No one should hold them back.

For all the children, everywhere, you are kind…you are smart…you are important.  Believe it.  Live it.  Pass it on.

“The test of the morality of a society is what it does for its children.” ~ Dietrich Bonhoeffer  

Random Songs/Random Thoughts

Have you ever been sitting quietly and suddenly a song you didn’t even know you knew popped into your head?  Today, I was sitting quietly, reading and in popped, “All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey…”  Okay, I don’t even know the title of this song, but think it was by The Mamas and The Papas.   If this had been 30 years ago, I’d have to ask someone what those words go to.  Now, with the very fast help of Google, I find that I’m “California Dreamin” and can listen to/watch the Youtube video AND find all the lyrics and even order a copy to be downloaded as an MP3.  Wow!

For some reason, no matter the time of year, I will be driving down Loop 1604, heading for work or back home and I will suddenly start singing, “Sleigh bells ring, are you listening, in the lane snow is glistening, a beautiful sight, we’re happy tonight, walking in a winter wonderland.”  What???  That’s a Christmas song.  Oh, yeah…Christmas in July…August…April.  No matter what time of year, I guess I love me some Winter Wonderland.  Maybe it’s my rebellion against the almost continuous heat of South Texas.

Years ago, I heard someone call this phenomenon of songs sticking in your head “earworms”. Horrid thought. But fitting. They don’t go away and are so annoying! I think it is even worse when someone knows you hate a particular song and remind you of it, so it’s stuck in your head all day. It was like that with the awful Barney song. You know…”I love you, you love me, we’re a happy family…”. UGH!! STOP!!!!!!!! Make it go away!

So, what song do you hate to have as an “earworm”? And are there any songs that seem to recur at the strangest times?

“Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.”~ Unknown

The Path of Destruction…The Will to Rebuild

An EF-5 tornado ripped through the town of Moore, Oklahoma on May 20th in the afternoon. Twenty-three people died and hundreds were injured.  Another person died of something related to the tornado.  And as I started writing this, I read in the paper that a 25th person has now died due to injuries related to the tornado.  We are constantly reminded of the tragedies that occurred that day.

Homes and schools were destroyed. But the town and the courage and resiliency of the people live on. Moore is like so many towns in the Midwest. The people are strong. Nothing will beat them down. I knew this from watching the news and seeing the people helping absolute strangers clear their property that had been destroyed by the tornado.  And I saw it in the eyes of the parents, struggling to comfort their children or the children of others as they awaited news of their own.  It was heart-wrenching.

Watching the news reports, I felt that I needed to do something.  Yet, who am I?  I am just a single person…no organizations backing what I choose to do.  And I live over 8 hours away in south Texas.  Yet, I still felt I had to DO something.  I didn’t mean donating money.  I always wonder just how much is actually helping those who need help.  And how much is lining the pockets of those running the organizations.  So, I stewed over it and decided there WAS something I could do.  I could donate Pampered Chef products so the families can start making meals again.  Food is comfort.

So I spoke to my mother.  And she said a friend she has in Oklahoma City has a son who lost his home.  And they know other families who’ve lost everything.  I knew then that I was going to send packages to them.  And then it steamrolled!  My mother placed an order and so did I.  The packages arrived at the home of my mother’s friend and they were thrilled to hand over all the goodies inside to those families.  But then I mentioned to other Pampered Chef consultants I know that I was trying to help 3 families.  And they donated extra products they had…cookware, tools, plates, cookbooks…on and on.  And I remembered a full-size afghan I had.  It was thick and plush.  I donated that.  And I found more products in my cabinets.  Suddenly, I realized it was going to cost a fortune to mail all of that.

My sweet husband suggested we drive up on a Saturday and deliver it, spend the night in a hotel and drive back on Sunday.  He gave up his weekend of relaxation to hit the road with me.  We both felt humbled to be able to take all of the wonderful donations my friends had provided and deliver them to Moore.

On July 6th, we left early in the morning and drove all day.  My mother’s friend called us and asked us to come to dinner at her home.  Although I had never met these people, they made us feel so at home, treating us like family.  And after dinner, they took us on a tour of the devastation in Moore.  They showed us the path of the tornado and the freakish destruction.  Houses were demolished on one side of a street and almost fully intact on the other, with just a few shingles missing from the roof.  Businesses were destroyed.  Memorials to the lives lost were everywhere I looked.

And then we visited the site of the Plaza Towers Elementary School.  My heart broke.

The memorial grows and grows with each passing day.  And the townspeople of Moore will rebuild.  And their will remains strong.  God bless Moore and the families who were affected in so many ways.  I still feel the need to do more.  And I will.  It makes my heart feel just a tiny bit less broken.

 

“Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” – Unknown