“Time flies when you’re having fun.” It also flies when you get older. And it flies when your job keeps you so busy, you feel like Friday is following Tuesday most weeks. I have to admit, it also flies when your life is changing dramatically.
I have been dealing with all of these “Time flies” scenarios this year. I have gotten older (much better than the alternative – you know, being dead), I have been so busy with work, and I have had a dramatic change in my life. After being married for 15 years, I am now divorced. It’s really hard to admit. It’s the first time I have typed that out in any kind of public message and it feels so final. Well, it IS final. Since May. So, I am experiencing being on my own for my birthday, for the upcoming holidays, and soon, I will experience my first “no longer my anniversary”.
But that’s what life is about. Adjusting to change. I have had adjustments to change since I was a little girl. My dad was in the Army and I was a little over 2 years old the first time we moved – it was a big move. We went from France to the US. A little over 2 1/2 years later we moved again, another big move. Yes, international. And on and on. My life has had big changes frequently, but it just doesn’t get any easier to adapt.
However, attitude can make it easier. Was I sad? Yes. I was. Was I in a way relieved? Yes. But I also have been making myself happy. All those compromises or changes I made in my life to suit another person are no longer necessary. I can just be me. And do what I want when I want. I don’t think there is anything wrong with compromise. Unless it means giving up a part of you that you feel is important. I gave up some of my favorite things to do. I’m a very social person. And that fell by the wayside most of the time, because I was married to an introvert who didn’t want to do things with other couples. I tried making couples friends for us, but it never worked. So, I gave up. And that meant giving up a part of who I was.
Some of my friends fell by the wayside. But some friendships are being rejuvenated. I hope it works. Sometimes I feel like I am starting over. In my late 50’s, I’m starting over. And it’s okay. Because now I am not compromising my emotions, my likes, my dreams. I am doing things for myself. So, here’s to all the ladies (or gentlemen) out there who are doing things for yourself with no thought of what someone else wants for the first time in a long time. This is our second (or third or 10th) chance to do for ourselves! It’s time for fun.
“We all have big changes in our lives that are more or less a second chance.” ~ Harrison Ford