Posts Tagged ‘Stress’

I woke up this morning, a little stressed over having my second interview for a job that really sounds like it would be right up my alley. I like the people I met at the 1st interview and hope that today goes as well as that one did. So, when I logged on to the computer, I was almost afraid to look at my e-mail, just in case there would be a cancellation of the interview or a postponement. Nothing. Relief flowed through me until I realized I still had to get through the interview. The stress increased. I don’t know what to wear. Most of my suits are wool…left over from my days further north and in a freezing-cold office! It was cold year-round, so no matter how hot it was outside, I was frequently wearing wool. I’ve already worn my favorite summer suit for the 1st interview. Now I am down to either skirt, blouse and sweater or sweater set or my suit that has a straight skirt. That wouldn’t be so bad, but I bought it ten pounds ago. YES. I have gained 10 pounds since losing my job–too much stress-snacking. Not good on a short girl. So, now I have to decide between looking a little more professional (in a suit) or being able to breathe in a more comfortable skirt that doesn’t have a matching jacket. And then, I went to my favorite blog, Antique Mommy, and got the laugh I needed. I am no longer concerned about what I’m wearing, because in the scheme of things, does it really matter that much? Both outfits would work well.

Now I just have to go fix my mascara. I laughed so hard at her bad day, my mascara has run!  Bless you, Antique Mommy, for lightening up my day!

“Blessed is he who makes his companions laugh.” ~ The Koran


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Pampering Day

Today I decided to pamper myself a little…it was wonderful.  I slept in a bit, getting up at 7:30 and grabbing my robe, I headed to my comfy chair next to the bed and grabbed my book.  It was heaven to just lay back, snuggled in the chair and read! Then I took a quick shower, washing my hair and using my favorite body scrub…Orange Ginger. Mmmm!  It smells so good!  Then I dried and styled my hair and decided to give myself a manicure.  So, I heated up the paraffin bath (eucalyptus paraffin) and dipped my hands, wrapped them in plastic bags and terry mitts.  The heat and the eucalyptus did their job.  My hands felt wonderful…soft, relaxed, flexible from the heat, and cuticles like heaven.  Then I did the rest of the manicure…it’s been a long time since I treated myself to a little pamper session and it was definitely a mood booster.  I got ready for my interview and felt so much better, knowing that when I went in, I would feel good.  How could it not go well, if I was feeling good? 

I realize that it doesn’t take much to feel special.  A little quiet time, a treat for yourself and then getting dressed up.  Woohoo!   

“If you can attain repose and calm, believe that you have seized happiness.” ~ Julie-Jeanne-Eleonore de Lespinasse

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I know people who have neighborhoods that are friendly, cohesive and practically extended family.  And then there is our neighborhood.  I have never seen a place that is more distant and disfunctional!  At one time, I had tried to be friendly with some of the neighbors in our area, but it was to no avail.  The guy next door runs a business out of his home and stores the trailors and trucks in his driveway and along the street (including in front of our house).  It is annoying to say the least.   It wouldn’t be so bad, but when we moved back from Germany (over six years ago), he said he was getting a location to store everything in a couple of months.  That never happened.  I guess he spends so much time on his business that his house has become really rundown and at one time, he had a rat problem.  And this is a fairly nice neighborhood.  I mean, the houses aren’t mansions or anything, but it is a decent, clean neighborhood.  And there is mold along the eaves of his house and there is decaying wood trim.  And the house isn’t even 15 years old!  I’d hate to see the inside!  The worst thing about him is his lack of anger management.  I’m really not sure to this day why he did what he did…I was driving up the street from the mailboxes and passed his house (and vehicle).  Evidently, he thought I should have stopped and let him pull away from the curb, even though I had the right of way.  He threw his big truck into drive (I was in a compact car) and pulled away from the curb as I was passing him.  I honked, in case he didn’t see me, but all he did was give me the finger while yelling something at me and he drove off.  Nice neighbor, huh??!!? 

We had some really friendly neighbors across the street, but they moved away and a young bachelor moved in.  He keeps to himself.  Two other houses across the street had neighbors that would at least wave and say hello.  One is being rented now by a young couple with a baby.  They’re very, very nice…probably our best neighbors at this point.  But they’ll be moving away in the next year.  And directly next to them is a couple that moved in about 9 months ago.  I have seen them three times.  The first two times, I waved and said hello.  They ignored me and went into their garage and shut the door.  On the other side of us are three four(?) young people all living together (okay, I’m really not sure who all lives there) and they have two very, very bark-y dogs.  They all seem pleasant, but hardly ever speak to us. 

The only explanations I have for why this is so, is because it’s a neighborhood subdivision of mostly young people who’ve only lived here a short while or maybe it’s because it’s such a big city that people become insular.  No matter…I keep telling myself that someday, I’ll live in a smaller place again and have pleasant neighbors, not just people who inhabit the same subdivision! 

“A bad neighbor is a misfortune, as much as a good one is a great blessing.” ~ Hesiod

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More car woes…

Well, I continue the saga of the car accident (see Screech! Bam! Shudder!) and I have to say…”I HATE INSURANCE ADJUSTERS!!” The woman who is the insurance adjuster for the other driver’s company is not very pleasant. I received a call from her the day after the accident and she was calling to get my statement. After I was done, she informed me that there was a slight discrepancy between my version and the other driver’s. So, now the witness will have to be interviewed and the police report (which is on MY side) will have to be obtained before they can determine what actually happened. Okay, I know it’s her job to try to save them money and try to get to the “truth”, but I did tell the truth. So, now I’m wondering what the other driver said! It better be something very minor and she better not be trying to weasel her way out of responsibility. SHE hit ME! And I was just driving in MY lane, minding my own business and not speeding! She drove between two stopped vehicles in the lane next to me and drove straight into the side of my car. How could that be my fault?? Anyway, I hope it all comes out in the wash and I’m pretty sure the witness will make it clear to her that the other driver was at fault. In the meantime, I am on rental car #2…yes, I got an upgrade from the matchbox car. This one is a red Hyundai Accent. Not a Mercedes, to be sure, but far better than the Chevy Aveo I was driving. This one has a CD player and remote everything. AND it’s roomier. So, now I feel a little more comfy, am enjoying a better smelling car (did I say yesterday that the Chevy smelled like rotting apples?) and won’t be afraid I can’t be seen because the car is soooooooo small. So, I come to the end of this tale of woe and feel better because I’ve vented. So, insurance adjuster, you go ahead and do your job. But please expect that I will do mine, too. I’m keeping track of all the problems I’m having (missed work, pain, aches, doctor bills, prescription bills, car expenses…) and I’m ready to do whatever it takes to be reimbursed for my troubles. Like any good girl scout, I am going to be prepared to take on whatever happens and like any good soldier (after all, I am daddy’s girl) fight to the bitter end. So, I close with a quote from another French person (did I ever tell you I was born in France?)…

“Victory belongs to the most persevering.” ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

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Tomorrow morning is the parole hearing for the man who killed my father. I can’t be there…I’ll be at work here in San Antonio and the hearing is in Kansas City. But my mother will be there and I wrote a letter to the parole board to express my opposition to his parole. It’s hard to think about the possibility of this evil man being freed and set loose on an unsuspecting public. He has raped, murdered, kidnapped, attacked, robbed at gunpoint, stolen taken drugs, lied, and threatened. This is someone who doesn’t value others’ rights or have any respect for others. In over 30 years of crimes commited, he hasn’t shown remorse.

So, for the next two months while we wait for the decision of the parole board, we’ll be on pins and needles. We are given the opportunity to make a request if he is paroled. I asked that he not be allowed to live in the same city as anyone in my family. I also asked that he not be allowed to travel to any city in which we reside and that we know where he is living. Of course, I do believe that he would be back in prison soon, if he was released. So, I don’t want anyone else to go through what all of his other victims have been through and I see it as a waste of money, too, that he be tried again and incarcerated again. Just leave him there!

So, we speak out for my father at the hearing. He deserves to be heard and this is the only way we have to do so. We plead with the parole board to leave this inmate in prison…this horrible man who took away from us such a kind, considerate, honorable, loving person with far more to offer society than the man who killed him.

“The dead cannot cry out for justice; it is a duty of the living to do so for them. ” ~ Lois McMaster Bujold

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A friend of my husband’s (and mine, by default) has done something incredibly stupid (and illegal) and was caught. But no matter what we think of what he has done, no matter how much we swear we would never do anything like that, we can’t fully understand all the thoughts and rationalization that went on in his head prior to the act. And now, all I can do is think how he must feel to be getting all the negative reactions from friends, relatives and complete strangers that he is getting when what he wanted from his actions (as far as I can tell) was the positive strokes that come from being “someone important”.

I don’t want to and won’t go into what he actually did. But suffice it to say, he didn’t physically harm anyone, didn’t do anything to cause monetary harm to anyone or anything and it was more a moral crime than anything as far as I am concerned. He represented himself as something he isn’t. But I believe in the goodness in him. I know that this has to be a case of envying what he isn’t.

It has been so hard to watch my wonderful husband torment himself over what his friend has done and what is now being said about him in the papers, on the internet and what will probably be repercussions he’ll feel for years to come. I worry about what his grown children feel about it and how it could affect his job, his life, his freedom. But most of all, I worry about my husband. I see the hurt and misery on his face. He’s hurting for his friend and he’s worried for him, too. And he can’t seem to wrap his head around what has happened. I hate to see this going on in his head and in his heart. But I also don’t know how to help him feel better about it, either. I’m mindboggled. And I hurt for his friend’s family…and for him.

I just have to remind myself, I wasn’t walking in his shoes, I wasn’t there. I will never understand what he did. But, I can let it go and be emotionally supportive if that’s what he needs. And I will definitely be there for Beau. He is hurting over this. So, I am, too.

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” ~ William Blake

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Vacation plans are rolling around in my head…we’re trying to complete last minute details and make sure we have everything lined up for the trip. I’m doing all the last minute shopping this weekend for camera batteries, throw-away mini shampoo bottles, etc., mini toothpastes, and all to lighten the load as we go, so we can replace that with souvenirs. I’m planning on buying some Wusthof knives while we’re in Germany and I want to pick up some German chocolates, etc. Of course, I’m sure we’ll end up with some German wine from our old landlord’s family. They have provided us with bottles of the local wines whenever they can. It’s good German white wine and I love my white wine schorles! (white wine mixed with Sprite or sparkling water 50/50).

I keep checking my spreadsheet I’ve worked up to make sure I don’t forget anything in our plans. I still need to follow up with our petsitter to finalize the arrangements for Rascal. He’s going to have the run of the house and think he’s the KING of the world. I’m getting a little stressed over all the arrangements, hoping I haven’t forgotten anything.

We have our passports, we’ve got our prescriptions refilled, we’ve got all of our reservations, our BritRail passes, daily plans and what clothes we’re planning on taking all listed on the spreadsheet. I’ve found a temp to replace me at work and I’m trying to get my desk cleaned off before I leave. We’re planning on a “dry run” for packing to weigh everything…we’ve got such a low luggage weight limit on the flight between Germany and England, so we’re going to be cutting it close! I’m dreading the flight between Frankfurt and Manchester…Beau picked a LITTLE plane and LOW baggage limit! YIKES! Doesn’t he know I like to shop??????

He who every morning plans the transaction of the day and follows out that plan, carries a thread that will guide him through the maze of the most busy life. But where no plan is laid, where the disposal of time is surrendered merely to the chance of incidence, chaos will soon reign.” ~ Victor Hugo

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